The Last Rung on the Ladder
I just read--or rather reread--the Stephen King story "The Last Rung On The Ladder" from his Night Shift collection.
Wow.
For anyone who has ever been estranged from a sibling, this story is tough to take. Now, with me and my sisters, we were never close. We never had the trust that exists in this story. One thing we do have is the estrangement, partly because when I was putting myself through nursing school I just didn't have the time to devote to family functions like meeting at one of their houses for spaghetti.
It's weird. My family all act like I have more money than God, which is not necessarily true. I make a good living but since I stopped working seventy hours a week and more, I don't make that much dough. Oh, I double and triple what they make but I went to college and they chose not to. But it's like, I don' t know, maybe they think that I think I'm too good to come over for spaghetti on a Thursday night.
I don't know. I know "Last Rung" is a terribly sad story about regret and should have/would have and I know I'm tired.
I want them to do well but there is nothing I can do to help them. They have chosen to live the lives they live. Abusive or drug-addicted men, no jobs, living the lives of substance abusers.
Now, don't get me wrong, I've partied with the best of them. I've smoked weed, done a lot of drinking and driving, commited crimes while under the influence. But I grew up. I like living a settled life, or rather, having the ability to lead a settled life. They live an almost subsistence life, waiting on the utility companies to shut of lights, gas, water, phones...and I have nothing against government aid but how hard can it be to afford your electricity if the state pays your rent and buys your food?
I just don't understand it. And so you trade a man who works hard to provide for your kids to one who takes from your kids to support his own alcoholism and drug use? I just don't understand it.
The hardest part is knowing that if I loan my oldest sister money, whether it's $50 or $100 or even $25, that I'm throwing that money in the toilet and flushing it. Until she makes the decision to improve her life, all the money I can loan her, and all the government can give her, will not change her life. The worst part is, I hate giving money to her knowing it will be used to support the drugs and alcohol of the useless motherfucker she's living with.
Fuck.
Jb
Wow.
For anyone who has ever been estranged from a sibling, this story is tough to take. Now, with me and my sisters, we were never close. We never had the trust that exists in this story. One thing we do have is the estrangement, partly because when I was putting myself through nursing school I just didn't have the time to devote to family functions like meeting at one of their houses for spaghetti.
It's weird. My family all act like I have more money than God, which is not necessarily true. I make a good living but since I stopped working seventy hours a week and more, I don't make that much dough. Oh, I double and triple what they make but I went to college and they chose not to. But it's like, I don' t know, maybe they think that I think I'm too good to come over for spaghetti on a Thursday night.
I don't know. I know "Last Rung" is a terribly sad story about regret and should have/would have and I know I'm tired.
I want them to do well but there is nothing I can do to help them. They have chosen to live the lives they live. Abusive or drug-addicted men, no jobs, living the lives of substance abusers.
Now, don't get me wrong, I've partied with the best of them. I've smoked weed, done a lot of drinking and driving, commited crimes while under the influence. But I grew up. I like living a settled life, or rather, having the ability to lead a settled life. They live an almost subsistence life, waiting on the utility companies to shut of lights, gas, water, phones...and I have nothing against government aid but how hard can it be to afford your electricity if the state pays your rent and buys your food?
I just don't understand it. And so you trade a man who works hard to provide for your kids to one who takes from your kids to support his own alcoholism and drug use? I just don't understand it.
The hardest part is knowing that if I loan my oldest sister money, whether it's $50 or $100 or even $25, that I'm throwing that money in the toilet and flushing it. Until she makes the decision to improve her life, all the money I can loan her, and all the government can give her, will not change her life. The worst part is, I hate giving money to her knowing it will be used to support the drugs and alcohol of the useless motherfucker she's living with.
Fuck.
Jb
posted by benaires at 8/04/2005 02:01:00 AM
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